I thought its over. I went to see a movie with her and one other friend. She picks me up and we talk in the car. We arrive there early and I thought that maybe the other friend is there already. However, actually there are only the two of us at the sushi king. I felt really nervous.. is it because I still have feelings for her. Omg! She paid for the movie and also for the sushi. We spend quite sometime there and I felt like we are on a date. The only reason im not being a gentlemen to her is because I don't want her to know that I still have feelings for her. Damn it. Why can't I say that I like her straight in the face. Uhhuhu. I said that for me agf and also a wife is different. I wonder if she understood what I meant. A girlfren is a wife. The reason its different is that I dont have any bond with her. In other words, when I think she as my gf I am serious and commited of marrying her. I wish she can read my mind. Urghhhhhhhhh!
Truthfully, i don't know how long have it been since i started writing again. This is my first post for the year 2014 which is already going to be over soon. I have always been the most clueless and confused when i fall in love with someone. This have happened over and over again. I don't think i will be able to handle the rejection, the breakup and the fight anymore. I have gone through more than enough. Family, friends and lover are the most important things in my life.I have learned the value of relationship and responsibility for such a long time. Every single time it changed a small part inside me and i am getting further and further away from my real self. I am not emotional and i don't intend to disturb people with my problems. I know that people only listens but i don't think that really care about it. I am going to travel around the world after this and i won't be back for quite sometime after i have solved everything in Miri. I will start off with Singa
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